Can you imagine an adult woman who was sexually assaulted as a child, it is the product of rape, being told that she is imagining it, it is her perception, she does not know what she is talking about and everything is in her? head? Now you can imagine that little girl being told the same thing to by the Adults who were supposed to protect her, those same Adults who threw her under the bus, the Adults who abused her, trying to blame her, she wanted him, treat her like trash, like an outcast, like a stigma, like a plague to her “perfect” family she never followed scripture and reported it so it’s her fault that a grown man kept coming into her room at night to do his disgusting deed in his mouth, an act that she has to accept, otherwise he would have done the same with his sister, who was only a few years younger than her, a sister of whom he had to be a Mother.

One thing that a woman NEVER forgets, never perceives, never imagines, is the abuse she suffered. She will remember it like it was yesterday EVERY DAY of her damn life. So be VERY careful when you tell that Woman that it is her perception, it is her opinion, it is her thought that she does not want to change.

That Woman does not deserve to be raped over and over again because of the ignorance of people who REFUSE to be educated, who refuse to be loving, understanding, compassionate. That woman now has a unique vision of how other women and children feel. That woman NEVER had time to imagine things when as a child she had to be on high alert for the next punch that was going to hit her in the face by a father who was setting them up for more sexual assaults, walking around the house with his genitals Out of his pants, bring pornography into the house for his little daughters to see. He had to be on high alert for the next fight that would have him attack them, throwing books at her head that she luckily dodged.

Now be in that culture where things are swept under the rug and since she did not shut up, that made her an outcast among some of its religious members. It took a religious member who feared no one to truly be there for her, acknowledge her, and help her begin to lead a normal life. It took a lot of strength to get away from a culture, traditions, a group of people who think that a woman who was raped, a child who was raped from her innocence is mentally damaged and therefore should be ignored, locked up and not. go out in society.

I can’t believe people still think like that in this day and age in what is supposed to be the age of education, Oprah, books about women and men who have been through unpleasant things. While those things can cause mental damage if someone doesn’t get the help they need, I GRATEFULLY received help from people who NEVER accused me of lying, misperceiving things, and who helped me start a normal life as a teenager.

Every day, I am so grateful and happy that those people loved me, helped me heal so that these disgusting things would not destroy my life and my state of mind. It is simply disgusting that we are supposed to live in a progressive world and yet there are people who are still uneducated and therefore are causing pain and harm to others because they cannot understand anything but the small and superficial things and , therefore, they cause harm to people. psyche, people who have been working for a long time to heal only to suffer a great setback with such dangerous ignorance.

We need to stop ignorance and learn how to help people and NOT destroy them just to force them, rape them again, and make them relive the horrors of those they are trying to heal and leave behind so that they can begin to prosper. in their life and live a better life than the one they had experienced in their childhood.

As a woman, I now have the ability to turn around and use my life, share my story to help other women and men who were abused, and even help parents recognize the signs of abuse and love their children equally. , spend time with them. so that those children do not turn to the wrong people for love or that those children receive the wrong attention from anyone, be it strangers, family friends or even family members.

Parents, do not pit your children against each other, do not show favorite. Create a healthy, loving, and open home and be open for your children to come and talk with you. You will not be able to monitor your children 24/7, however, always keep the door open so that your children know that you are their refuge and not their attacker.

Let your children know that they are loved. Hug them, kiss them, and spend time with everyone together and individually. The violation of the innocence of a child does not happen to a certain race of people, it only happens to other people and not to you, or it only happens in the so-called backward countries of the “Third World”.

Always remember if and when your children are abused, IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR CONDITION! Your children come first. Take care of them first. This is NOT the time to worry about what your neighbors or members of your religion are going to think and how they are going to look at you. Fuck them. As a father once told me: “If someone ever touched their daughters inappropriately, $% @@ ** k spirituality. They will not survive to see the next day.” Of course, I do not advocate violence, but parents should feel that strongly about protecting their children and that strongly should protect them.

I know of a woman whose daughter was being bullied by the pastor and fortunately had a good relationship with her daughter, so the daughter felt free to go to her mother. The Woman dressed on a Sunday in her best clothes and stood outside the church door greeting all the Brothers and Sisters. She was cheating on the Pastor, who incidentally has a daughter of his own. When the pastor finally appeared, she allowed his family to precede him into the church, but then blocked his entrance while still smiling at everyone who was entering the church. He immediately went to bed with the Pastor and told him in no uncertain terms that unless he wanted to lose his hands, his private parts and other things, he should never look at his daughter or any other young Sister, much less touch them. If you ever dare to do it again, you will face shame in front of the entire Church. He never did it again with that woman’s daughter or with anyone else. (Well, hopefully).

So with all that, if you are a woman or a man or know someone who experienced the above things, I sincerely hope that you have been brought up. I can’t stand the word “perspective”. I absolutely hate it. It has too many bands and is used to create doubts in people’s minds about things that are factual and not merely an opinion or ughh, a perspective. Instead, I prefer the term “be polite.” Let those people know that the rape, sexual abuse was not their fault and that it was not their responsibility as children to sacrifice to protect others.

Let them know that they are not dirty, disgusting, and unclean. Let them know that they are not mentally ill just because they were raped or abused and that they should never give in to the thought and belief that their life is over. Let them know that they no longer have to live their life in pain. They can FINALLY begin to thrive and when they become strong enough, they can help others heal and rid themselves of guilt and shame and will never again allow anyone to direct their lives, their thoughts, and their beliefs about themselves. Never insult their intelligence and take what they went through lightly by saying, “oh, it’s because you were abused why you let that bother you or why do you think that.”

We need to trample on those ignorances. Sexual assault does not make a woman unintelligent, stupid, paranoid, or backward. Instead, it makes them sensitive to the pain of abuse in others and they will not tolerate any kind of behavior that only serves to harm her. That doesn’t mean you have to walk on eggshells with a woman like that. If you respect it, then there will be no need for eggshells.

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