Win Your Rhode Island Child Custody Case Without Making Dumb Mistakes

In my 13 years as a Rhode Island Child Custody Lawyer, I have seen many parents make dumb and stupid decisions during the course of Rhode Island Child Custody Proceedings. Sometimes winning your RI Child Custody is about the mistakes you avoid rather than what you do right.

The stupid and rude behavior set forth below can impede or ruin your chances of gaining custody in Rhode Island Family Court. All of the actions set forth below are actual behaviors that I have seen in the Rhode Island Family Court.

Please read this article on Rhode Island family law carefully!

I am almost afraid to tell people not to engage in the behavior and antics described below for fear of being accused of patronizing or condescending to my clients. It really is just common sense. Ironically, many of the mistakes mothers and fathers make are mistakes made in an attempt to gain an unfair advantage.

one. Do not post inappropriate content on Facebook, MySpace, social networks or online that show you are an unfit parent, use drugs or alcohol, or are not acting in your child’s best interest. Remember, the other parent often visits your Facebook page looking for any angle that will help them prevail in the custody dispute. A seemingly innocuous “Facebook friend” may actually be providing information to the other parent.

two. Do not post negative or disappearing comments or comments about the other parent online, the judge, the psychiatrist, the psychologist, the custody evaluator, anyone involved in the custody proceeding, the other Rhode Island attorney, or the family of the other parties.

3. Do not blog about your case. You should be fighting your case in court, not on your blog. These blogs infuriate judges, especially when there is a chance that children will see the blog.

Four. Don’t buy an expensive item, cars, or travel when you claim you can’t pay child support or are facing a motion for contempt of child support. The other Rhode Island attorney will use this to show that your contempt is willful and ask that you be put in jail.

5. Don’t wear a $500 watch at your Rhode Island child support contempt hearing. If you can’t pay child support, you shouldn’t buy expensive items while claiming you’re broke. Certainly, if you owe RI child support, you shouldn’t wear expensive items to court.

7. Don’t make silly arguments in Rhode Island Family Court. Check out my article on stupid arguments in RI Family Court. These arguments destroy your credibility, waste valuable Court resources, and generally irritate the judges.

8. Don’t teach your child to take your side. This often backfires because most children are incapable of lying. The first thing the custody evaluator, Rhode Island Guardian ad Litem, or investigator does is ask the child who they talked to about the case. Your child is not your friend or confidant with respect to the Rhode Island divorce proceedings or the RI child custody case. Coaching children can be emotionally damaging and confusing for your child.

9. Do not send the other parent inappropriate or threatening text messages, emails, or voice messages that will invariably be shown to the judge. These stupid text messages are absurd and an easy way to lose your RI Child Custody case. You want the judge to perceive you as the best parent and reasonable person and these emails are not helping your case!

10 Do not send text messages induced by drugs or alcohol

eleven Do not make negative remarks or remarks about the other parent in the presence of your child. This is the most common mistake parents make in Rhode Island child custody cases. These comments can be very damaging to your child. They also show the judge that you don’t care about your child’s emotional well-being.

12 Don’t make threats or act inappropriately over the phone with the other parent. Suppose everything you say is being recorded because many parents record the other parent.

13 Don’t use illegal drugs. At any time during the Rhode Island child custody case, you are subject to a drug test. A positive drug test can destroy your chances of prevailing in your custody case and can lead to supervised visitation.

14 Do not go out drinking heavily the night before your evaluation by the custody evaluator.. Yes, a client actually did this.

fifteen. Do not get into personal disputes, make accusations or act rudely to people who influence decisions in your case. You want these people to respect and like you on a personal level.

Tearing down the people who influence the decision of your case is a very bad idea. This specifically includes psychiatrists, psychologists, and the person supervising your visits. In one case, a woman and her husband punched each other, got angry and started yelling at the psychologist.

sixteen. Do not write inappropriate letters to your child about the custody case. People really do this. I can’t make these things up.

17 Do not deny court-ordered visitation or pay child support as ordered by the court. This only makes you look bad and can change the focus of the Rhode Island Child Custody case. If you are not satisfied with the visitation, you must file a motion to modify the visitation.

18 Do not write a letter to the judge or call the judge. Yes, some of my clients have done this before. Your Child Custody Lawyer will defend your position before the judge. It is not appropriate to write a letter to the judge.

19 Do not show up to court with an excessive dose of prescription drugs.

twenty Do not fail to show up for the other parent’s supervised visit without a good excuse and without calling Family Services and the other parent. (Unless there is a restraining order)

twenty-one Do not introduce the child or involve the child with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, especially if they have a criminal record or DCYF record.

22 Do not have visitors of the opposite sex at night while the children are home. The Custody case is complicated enough and there is no need to involve other people in the case.

23 Don’t buy the child a big gift the day before or the day of their interview with the judge. This looks like bribing a judge. However, the game is a good idea. There is nothing wrong with a day at the amusement park the day before the meeting with the judge. The game is fine. Bribery is not okay.

24 Do not leave the state without telling the other parent where you are going and when you will return. You must also provide contact information.

25 Don’t have necessary heated confrontations with the other parent. Get out of these bad situations and tell your lawyer. These confrontations often lead to Rhode Island Restraining Orders or protection from abuse complaints.

Even if the confrontation is non-physical and relatively harmless, the other parent may exaggerate it and use it to gain an unfair advantage by seeking a restraining order or pressing criminal charges.

Allegations of domestic violence could destroy your chances of obtaining physical placement or joint custody of your child. Sometimes these confrontations lead to RI criminal charges. You don’t want to hire a Providence criminal attorney.

Important Rhode Island Family Law Tip: Many people use the term “full custody.” Legal custody relates to decision making and access to records and is Joint Custody of both parents or Sole Custody of one parent. Physical custody is where the child resides on a daily basis and the other parent has visitation rights. There is also a shared physical location.