Has there ever been a more ridiculous circus around a player in sports history? Originally, I was entertained by the suspense of where LeBron James would end up. Now I’m appalled at how far these desperate franchises have gone in courting LeBron. To begin with, the guy hasn’t won anything. It’s not a damn thing. Two MVP awards certainly look good on the mantel, but that means nothing to the Cavaliers, or to the next generation of fans who may look back on LeBron as one of the most disappointing players ever. After all, MVP trophies don’t hang from rafters.

This situation exemplifies everything that is wrong with sports today. LeBron shouldn’t have ESPN at his disposal to schedule his own Target X press conference. While he is a freak athlete and superior individual talent, LeBron has not succeeded in the NBA as expected. In fact, his only achievement as a member of an NBA team is an Eastern Conference title won when the conference was at its weakest. On the court, it’s Donovan McNabb minus three conference titles. Off the court, he is more obsessed with his brand and image than with winning basketball games. Why couldn’t he approach this process the way any other free agent would? Flying to meet potential suitors, make a decision, appear at an introductory press conference a day or two later? Is he above it all, or is standard operating procedure too mundane for “King James”?

What an inappropriate name. I always laugh when I hear it. I laughed more when LeBron’s first tweet from his new Twitter account referred to himself as “the King.” Up to this point in his career, he hasn’t performed like a king … or at least a very good one.

From a historical point of view, the great kings were brave warriors who conquered their adversaries. Missed games 5 and 6 of Boston’s series in the 2010 Eastern Conference Semifinals weren’t exactly like a warrior. Staring at teammates and pacing the court depressed while a veteran team kicked its tail didn’t qualify as brave either. The list of those he has conquered? Um, it’s empty. No, LeBron is not a king.

In fact, “King James” reminds me more of Commadus than Gladiator. Like Commadus, LeBron is a bit immature and needs attention. He needs to believe that the whole world will be waiting for Thursday night as he proclaims where the next chapter of his career will begin. (His group says the decision is made live on ESPN because of “unprecedented attention.” Translation: “I’m a big problem. I want everyone to see me decide.” Whatever). Unfortunately, one team will hand over its franchise. for him and will undoubtedly hold the team, the front office, and his fans hostage for the next decade. Has any player, in any sport, received so much after achieving so little? Obviously, LeBron didn’t go to college (where an upper-class man would have reigned over his ego), he wasn’t disciplined by coaches in high school and they never told him, “This is how things are going to be. Face it.” Winning happens between the lines, in sweaty gyms and when the cameras aren’t shooting. Hosting a show to announce his fate only goes to show that LeBron is more in love with being a global icon than earning a legacy that comes with being an NBA champion.

If I’m a GM with spare money, I’m throwing everything at Dwyane Wade, not LeBron. Wade has shown that he has the competitive fire that Kobe and Jordan patented. Wade only gave his city a title by attacking the rim with reckless abandon for four games in a row, even as all five opponents prepared to stop him. Sure, he may have trouble with injuries throughout his career, but you can’t teach what Wade has. He is not looking to become the next international idol or a billionaire businessman. Wade is sick of losing. You want to win and you know what it takes to do it. LeBron clearly doesn’t understand winning at that level, nor does he care that much. If he did, he would put aside the global brand junk and focus on basketball.

Don’t get me wrong, LeBron is one of the best players in the league. Although, I hope for the sake of those little kids who will no doubt see Thursday night that LeBron never sniffs an NBA title. He has been given too much by a league that he has not yet won. He’s been backed by winning when in reality he can only back up charisma and physical superiority. The man is not a winner, and yet NBA bureaus are creating cartoon sitcoms and international brand campaigns for this guy. Somewhere along the way, we as sports fans have lost our edge. Never before have we hugged someone with such blatant adoration that they hadn’t won.

My favorite part of this whole scenario is that 15 years from now history will show that LeBron never lived up to expectations. In reality, he never earned the adulation that was blindly given him. LeBron only has 5-7 years left in the best basketball. He doesn’t look like he’s going to team up with Wade or Bosh, so there’s no guarantee that he’ll win even a title. On top of that, there are still veteran teams like the Lakers and Celtics, as well as promising young teams that will compete for the titles.

One such promising team is led by Kevin Durant, a pure scorer and a more capable leader. While LeBron has been prancing around luxurious hotels being courted by billionaires, Durant quietly signed a multi-year extension while sitting on the bench supporting the Thunder’s summer league team. Does Durant have to be in the summer league? Not at all, but he’s there because he understands that winning requires more than just his own efforts. Winning requires a team, a culture, an idea that revolves around a leader more like Maximus than Commadus. Maximus shunned glory and conquered with strength and will. Commadus always wanted more, wanted to be the center of everyone’s attention even though he had never done anything to earn it. LeBron aligns himself with one of these characters. Unfortunately for whoever hires LeBron, you will learn that he is more similar to the one who accomplished nothing, asked for more, and ultimately only cared about his condition.

LeBron is a public figure, an aspiring business mogul. He is not an NBA legend. He’s not even an NBA champion.