I have some friends who are moviegoers, I mean moviegoers. Without a doubt, the film is his breath. I enjoy observing the behavior of these types of creatures; how they think, how they act. And since I am also a movie buff, I also observe myself.

How interesting, there are behavioral similarities between us. Let me reveal my secret note to you now. Yes, while it’s not that scientific and has the potential to make you smile, this note isn’t really humor. It is the result of my long observation (hanging out with them and interviewing them).

first feature From a movie nut, you always have Home Video membership cards in your wallet, sometimes with a few bonus coupons. A movie buff is never satisfied by signing up for a video rental alone. The movies he’s been looking for are usually something distinctive. Movies that according to common taste are weird and not quite rock, if he/she thinks they are delicious enough for his/her hungry soul, they will be devoured in no time.

Second feature, still around your wallet, we will find pieces of free cinema pass. Or if not, there’s a flyer or a little note about the movie’s showing time. French films at the French Cultural Center, Japanese films at the Japanese Consulate, Germanic films at Goethe, etc.

From his wallet, we move a little to find third feature. Did you notice that a movie nut’s cell phone is always full of Home Video phone numbers, including DVD rentals you haven’t signed up for yet? People like that usually get along well with hired help. Because sometimes he/she would call them on the phone and then wave them with many of the movie titles he/she was looking for, “Please check your catalog if Sahara is available. Iranian movies! None? Are you not here yet? Ok, what’s up… a very new thriller from Finland, not sure of the English title, but I bet you know, it’s happening. AND Splendor gold Nosferatu, old German expressionism stuff, do you have the DVDs? Also, give me Tim Burton’s masterpieces, please.” Ah, poor employees.

fourth feature, looking at something remarkable, spontaneously thought of reproducing it. Or if he really missed an interesting part, he convinced himself: “No problem, I can watch it again when the DVD version is released.” Of course, within seconds he realized that he was just thinking stupidly.

A movie buff also has his own way of calming down his lover, that is fifth feature. For example, when the girlfriend/boyfriend said, “It’s not funny anymore, honey! Blood is spurting profusely from your wound, how can you keep laughing?” he/she would reply, “Relax, this is just a special effect.” Even if it wasn’t a special effect at all, it was royal blood.

sixth characteristic or the last of my note, his dreams were completed with the narration in off. When he/she saw the Great Wall in the dream, a bass voice suddenly came out, “China again. Damn it. It seems like a few minutes ago I was in Korea…”. The soundtrack was barely heard. No one hit the play button in their sleep, it’s their subconscious that turned on those voices.”

Like crazy, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s why I’m using the words “movie nuts”, instead of “movie buffs”. But if you’re experiencing one, some, or all of the six symptoms above, don’t bother going to a psychiatrist. Just come and join people whose same fate. Welcome to the club!