I went on Facebook today. Nothing unusual there. I decided to look for an acquaintance of mine. I do this sometimes when I’m nosy or looking for inspiration. On this occasion, the latter was my motivation.

This woman has recently started her own business and while exploring the concept myself, I hit the search button. She is a bit younger than me and successful by social standards; career, marriage and a small personal business. Despite this, by social standards, this woman is considered “unattractive.” She is overweight and often overexerts herself. Her Facebook posts often reflect an insecure soul desperately pretending that she is okay with who she is. You may meet someone similar who immediately comes to mind. Anyway, I have no problem with this, the world is full of insecure people. What bothers me about her is the flavor of arrogance that she uses to try to compensate for her insecurities. Personally, this affects me, since I can’t stand falsehood, subtleties or “ostentation”, so she was always just an acquaintance. I kept her as a Facebook friend because despite her insecurities, her looks and her cocky style, this woman inspired me.

So imagine my horror when I found out that she had eliminated me. OK, I wasn’t that horrified, but still. I was like, oh, another one bites the dust.

And because? By societal standards, I guess you could say I’m considered attractive, successful in my career, and recently married. My Facebook posts are full of satirical humor to make sure people stay friends with me. As a successful and attractive woman, I am a threat to other women. I have often known that I have inspired other ladies, which for the most part, I have embraced and enjoyed. I have also enjoyed drawing inspiration from other women.

5 years ago I got divorced. It was very much my background when I went through a meltdown. So I had many friends. People also seemed to like it better. I think some people really loved the fact that someone ‘like me’ wasn’t perfect. I know, because I also enjoy the fact that I discover that someone I admire is not perfect. How sad is that?

So today, when I found out that my friend had stopped being friends with me, it hurt a little. Because being successful and happy can be a very lonely business for women. For men, it is celebrated. For women, it is tolerated. For this very reason, I have often had more male friends than female. In the context of friendship, men do not feel threatened by a successful and happy woman. I am also aware that any man reading this will think that I have male friends because I am sexy and they just want to try to be with me. Which is partly true, I’m not an idiot. But not all guys are so shallow and those of us who tried have often become great friends despite it all.

It saddens me that finding happiness and getting married provokes this kind of reaction. I understand that it probably triggered something in her that makes her uncomfortable with herself. Is this what the world is becoming? Is a place where feeling uncomfortable is too much of a challenge?

It is much easier to exclude than to deal with ourselves. But if anything, in writing this I would like to encourage you not to always succumb to the easy. Say ‘hello’ to the woman who seems to have it all under control, don’t be intimidated by her. She’s probably lonelier than you think.