Female sexuality is primarily mental. As I bluntly stated with ‘The Renegade Sex Expert’ David Shade: “a woman’s orgasm begins between her ears” and that “foreplay can be anything and everything that happens to her throughout the day” (i.e. , long before she enters). the bedroom). This is also the key to why many of us find it difficult to overcome our inhibitions, let go, and enjoy the deep and satisfying pleasure of a vaginal orgasm. [My other comment: A vaginal orgasm is longer, deeper, more emotionally satisfying than the intense ‘release or spike’ of a clitoral orgasm].

Many of us women believe that only the ‘lucky’ ones achieve that ‘holy grail’ of female sexual pleasure, vaginal orgasm; in fact, according to David’s research, only 30-40% of women ever experience it in their lifetime. No! Every healthy woman is capable of soul-satisfying orgasms and vaginal orgasms are your birthright!

Netting out: what is needed is to learn to connect the pleasure centers of the vagina with those of the brain; to let go and lose yourself in the moment and release your inhibitions and self-sabotaging behaviors; to allow you to feel a deep pleasure.

Here are some of the best tips for achieving a vaginal orgasm:

For a woman (for her own pleasure or as a couple):

• Throw away the fucking vibrator! (Or, at least, take out the batteries.) David says, “Vibrators make women dependent on clitoral stimulation and orgasms. That’s not what you’re looking for. Use a ‘realistic’ substitute and let your imagination run wild.” The imagination or fantasies and emotions of women are a key ingredient in releasing emotions.
• Practice the emotion you would feel with your partner and/or allow yourself to fantasize about each and every aspect of the pleasure; letting go is more of a mental exercise than a physical one.
• Be pleasure oriented, not goal or time oriented. Give yourself time and live in the moment, every moment, with yourself or with your partner.

To the man who leads you to your pleasure:

• Keep your goal a secret. Nothing will cause performance anxiety more than telling a woman you’re looking for a vaginal orgasm (in the sense that very few women believe they’re capable of it!)
• Understand that your pleasure has to come from her pleasure.
• Keep her involved in the trip and let her know that you are enjoying it and really want her and her pleasure.
• Don’t get frustrated if she interrupts you at first and doesn’t allow you to continue pleasing her. Many (if not most) women fall prey to self-sabotaging thoughts of ‘it’s taking too long’ or ‘I just can’t get there…’ or ‘he must be frustrated or tired, we have to stop… .’.
• Take advantage of each and every opportunity to learn, to gather intelligence for the next time you’re together, so that you can once again try to wipe her out. Progress is good no matter how incremental it is.

The anatomy of it all:

• For a woman who has never experienced a vaginal orgasm and who has a ready and willing partner, David Shade recommends using the middle finger first, rather than the penis, because it allows for significantly more flexibility and movement.
• The goal is to stimulate the “anterior fornix” of the vagina, which is a “deep spot” 3½ to 4 inches inside the front wall of the vagina. This is the easiest way for a woman to reach her first vaginal orgasm. Note: the deep spot is different from the famous G-spot.
• Once a woman has experienced her first vaginal orgasm, she should be able to recognize and repeat the sensation much more easily, in some way ‘training’ herself to achieve vaginal orgasm over and over again.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s obviously absolutely nothing wrong with a clitoral orgasm, it’s quicker, more ‘shallow’ and gets the job done – we all should have it! However, a vaginal orgasm is an opportunity to experience a level of deep emotion and power that is extremely rewarding. It is an opportunity to release inhibitions and enjoy your sexuality at a higher level, releasing all your feminine power!