Family can be a huge contributing factor in whether or not you try to save your marriage. Many people confess to me that if it weren’t for their children, the decision to end their marriage would probably be much easier. Children can even factor into the equation once the couple has already parted ways. Sometimes people see how much this change bothers or confuses their children, so they are motivated to consider trying it one more time.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in part, “I left my husband last month. We had been fighting a lot and I guess I was trying to get his attention because I wanted him to take me seriously. He’s been acting better and my kids miss him so much.” to her dad. The other night we all went out to eat and when she left us and left, I found myself wondering what it would be like to come home. But I have my doubts because I haven’t received any counseling or really changed anything. Still, I wish It’s a lot to keep my family together. After I’ve tried this little test of being alone, I find that it’s not as good as I expected. I wonder if I should go back to my husband in an attempt to save my family.”

Certainly, this was not a decision he could make for this wife. It was clear that she was confused and she had mixed feelings. The fact that she missed her husband and she saw the possibility of staying together was a positive sign, but the fact that nothing had really changed was certainly a concern. In the following article, I will offer some things that she might want to think about if she is considering going back to her husband to save her family.

Don’t rush. You can address your marital issues while you are apart. It could be devastating for your family if you have to leave twice: I understand how it feels to be away from your spouse when you are separated because I have been there myself. It all feels so immediate. And you worry that if you don’t go back now, you may never find your way back.

But I know from experience and from observing this scenario in many other couples that it’s best to wait until you can address at least some of your issues or know you can reconnect and communicate again before rushing into something that could really hurt your marriage. instead of saving it.

It would probably be more confusing and hurtful to your children if you came home only to fight again, or worse, only to pack your bags, uproot the children, and leave once more. It is wonderful and admirable to want to save your family. But make sure you have the tools and the time to get it right so your children end up with a healthy and happy family instead of one that was quickly put back together but will fall apart as a result at some point in the future. .

Ask yourself what you would need to change to make your marriage work: The biggest problem I see in this situation is that people come in without a clear plan for change. Wanting to save your family is a very admirable goal, but that goal won’t do much to turn your marriage around and keep it from failing once again. To reach that goal and ensure that your family stays together for the long term, you will often need to make some changes within your marriage so that you not only stay together, but are happy doing so.

If you’re just going through the motions for the benefit of your kids, but you’re not truly happy, then your kids will tell the difference, and they may not get the full benefit of you getting back together. So while it’s wonderful to promise to save the family from her, she doesn’t stop there.

Ask yourself what it would really take to make your marriage happy, and vow to do everything you can to make those changes happen. Good intentions and hoping for the best are often not enough. You may love your husband desperately and be willing to do anything for your children. But if you don’t implement some changes or improvements, what will prevent you from ending up here in the future?

At the same time, you don’t want to dwell on your problems so much that you can’t be spontaneous and just feel a bit of joy to be back with your husband and family. It really is a delicate dance. You want to combine a joyful new attitude with really getting down to business to make some lasting and important changes in your marriage. Because you want to be able to keep your family together forever in a marriage that is happy and sets a good example.

Think of it this way. The driving factor for you right now is your family and that is truly wonderful. But there’s no point in bringing your family back to a marriage that’s barely dragging on. You want your children to grow up with parents who have a happy and stable marriage because that is the example you set for your children’s marriage. So, you want to give them something worth modeling for them to have their own happy marriage. This is a wonderful gift to give them and probably your true intention. So while I applaud and encourage your attempt to save your family, make sure that improving and fixing your marriage is just as important.