The concept of spirituality derives from “spiritus”, which means vitality or breath of life. Like an electrical charge, our soul awakens when we are connected to that force. The more we align with it, the stronger and more alive our soul is. We harness this power every time we express ourselves authentically.

MAIN SPIRITUALS

Consider spiritual concepts, such as faith, surrender, truth, compassion, and love. As we practice these principles in our relationships, they have a synergistic effect, reinforcing each other and making us stronger.

Faith and delivery

Faith is the first spiritual premise. A relationship with a higher source or a higher power, however defined, should be our priority, because when we make someone or something (like an addiction or ambition) more important, we not only live in fear, but we also live in fear. we lose ourselves: our soul. .

In relationships, faith in a higher power allows us to give our well-being and self-worth to something other than someone else. It helps us overcome our fears and build autonomy and self-esteem. When we trust that we will not fall apart from loneliness, fear, shame, abandonment, we can face rejection and separation from our partner.

Surrender requires patience, which also comes from faith. If we want to relinquish control of our relationships, we must have the confidence to wait. On the other hand, when our fears and defenses are activated, we end up damaging the relationship in our attempts to maintain it.

TRUE

Our spiritual and psychological development skyrockets when we speak and act congruently in alignment with our Self, especially when we feel we have the most to lose. With faith we gain the courage to risk our partner’s displeasure and tell the truth. Honest, authentic, and assertive communication replaces passive and/or aggressive attempts to please and manipulate.

Expressing our vulnerability invites others to be too. This builds our spiritual power, resilience, and autonomy. By providing loving care without interference, a safe and healing environment is created. When we are reciprocated, we no longer feel the need to hide and our capacity to take risks and be vulnerable grows. Then true intimacy becomes possible.

compassion and love

Acceptance is essential for satisfying relationships. However, we can only accept and have compassion for our partner to the extent that we accept and have compassion for ourselves. Compassion develops from self-awareness and self-acceptance. It requires us to surrender the demands of our ego in order to live up to unrealistic and unrelenting demands and expectations. When we understand our partner’s and our own pain points and struggles, our triggers, we become less reactive. Then we can listen without judging, without taking our partner’s thoughts and feelings so personally.

Mutual empathy bridges with our partner allow us to reach deeper levels of acceptance and compassion for ourselves and others. We stop clinging to expectations and ideas about how we and our partner should be. Instead, we experience both our Self and our partner as unique and separate.

Anxiety and the need for defensive behaviors that cause relationship problems gradually dissolve. The relationship becomes a refuge for two souls to experience themselves and each other in a space of love and respect. As trust grows, the relationship makes room for more freedom and acceptance.

INTERSUBJECTIVE SPIRITUAL HEALING

In an atmosphere of acceptance and compassion, unconditional love can arise spontaneously. Martin Buber believed that the spirit does not reside in us, but between us. He explained that the “I-You” experience gives rise to a numinous spiritual force, a “presence” in which we experience our true Self.

Experiencing the Self in this environment feels exhilarating. When we’re not trying to hide, intimacy supports our integrity. Paradoxically, by risking losing our partner, we gain ourselves, and although we are closer now than before, we are more autonomous.

The Self becomes substantial and more individualized.

Our defenses, which we thought kept us safe and made us strong, have not only been obstacles to intimacy, but have also strengthened old feelings of inadequacy, stifling our Self and our true inner strength. Trusting in our vulnerability, we falter through our fears. We grow in faith, self-compassion, and courage each time we express our authentic selves. By risking helplessness, we begin to see ourselves and others more clearly. We discover who we really are, our divinity, within an intimate space of unconditional “I-you” love.

We realize that we are enough, that our integrity and self-acceptance do not depend on what others think, but on self-awareness. Our past conditioning and emotional blocks slowly evaporate and we become stronger. By living in a state of presence, our lives are enriched and vitalized. Our being generates healing that strengthens our soul.

Such a relationship needs two people committed to a spiritual process. Of course, relationships require security. Learning to value and protect ourselves are also lessons in our spiritual path. When we don’t feel safe, we have an inherent right and duty to protect ourselves, not through defensive maneuvers, but by directly expressing our feelings, needs, and desires. Sometimes we must set limits or leave a toxic relationship.

Relationship as a spiritual path requires a willingness to experience the pain of working through our fears and old programming and the belief that in truth lies freedom. In most cases, couples get closer. A healthy relationship will blossom and an inappropriate one will end.

Copyright DarleneLancer 2019