The key to getting over a broken heart is understanding how you allow the pain to linger. There are few things in life more painful than a breakup. A broken heart can really feel debilitating. Getting through the day becomes a struggle. As she tries to make sense of an overwhelming loss, his mind races. You ponder an endless list of “what ifs.” Why did my ex do this? Where are they? Should I call them? As these thoughts fly through your mind, the pain deepens at a compounding pace. It quickly engulfs you until you feel permanently heartbroken. In the midst of all these emotions and thoughts it is hard to see a way out. Actually the solutions you are looking for are closer than you think. There is no such thing as being permanently heartbroken. You have become so immersed in the problem that you cannot see the solution. Taking a step back and examining how you choose to deal with your broken heart allows you to begin to heal.

So how would you characterize what it means to be permanently heartbroken? Why does your pain still persist? Imagine a snowball rolling down a hill and getting bigger on the way down, that’s all. Essentially, what happens is that your thoughts and feelings feed off each other and take on a life of their own. Allowing this to continue prevents you from getting over a broken heart. Consider the following to understand why the pain persists:

• It begins with you taking a sadomasochistic trip down memory lane and reviewing recent events of how things happened.
• You begin to entertain yourself with a series of emotionally fueled negative thoughts, what ifs, and worst case scenarios as you try to weigh your options.
• These thoughts and memories produce greater pain on top of what already exists. This is when you start to feel permanently heartbroken.
• This additional pain fuels even more obsessive thoughts in their desperate search for a solution.
• Before you know it, you feel permanently heartbroken with no way out of your world of pain. A solution to get over a broken heart is still out of reach.

What’s really sad is that as a result of this whole process, you lose the ability to think rationally and see things logically. You end up getting a rash and it only makes things worse. All your efforts to get your ex back end up driving him away. The solution is to take the time to understand how thoughts and feelings feed off each other. This is how you stop feeling permanently heartbroken and learn how to get over a broken heart. Consider the following to start getting over a broken heart:

• The more you allow your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions to interact in a downward spiral of pain, the longer you will remain feeling permanently heartbroken. Only when you understand how these things feed off of each other can you begin to get over a broken heart.
• You have a belief system that includes your understanding of yourself and the world around you. The degree to which you fail to recognize it determines the extent to which it acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy in your life.
• Your belief system influences your thinking. Your thoughts influence your actions and how you choose to handle your situation.
• Your broken heart is a product of all this. You see that emotions are internal psychological and physiological creations: the body’s response to the thoughts in your head. Unfortunately, since we forget this and allow them to take over later. Understanding how to begin to get over a broken heart is a long way off.
• Once your emotions are allowed to take control and then influence our thoughts, beliefs and feelings. They feed off each other in an endless cycle of pain. All you are doing is acting like a hamster on a wheel creating allowing the pain to linger endlessly.