Navigating family conflict (and community conflict) is challenging during a pandemic. I know, I know… people are irrational. Fear during this pandemic period affects the ability to see, behave, and respond in a way that supports good human relations. It’s them, their way of thinking and their radical decisions that have your panties in a knot, right? Or wait… are you the one getting caught up in his lack of common sense? Who knows who’s right, and it’s not even ‘right or wrong’ anyway; it just is what it is. Stressful, frustrating, offensive, inconvenient, irrational, and in conflict with your opinion.

Honest communication will help you deal with feelings as they arise. Don’t hold on to difficult conversations about the holidays when it comes to your choices, fears, or decisions. Have them now. Trust that his opinions matter, take a position he is comfortable with, assert yourself, and know that ‘this too shall pass’.

The fact is that Christmas will be different this year. Radical acceptance will be your best ally. You may feel uncomfortable following the family plan to get together, or you may be grieving the loss of past Christmas traditions. The only common denominator is that we are all grieving something that has been taken from us, and if we can accept it and move on with something new, we will be much less stressed.

Know that you can say no. Politely saying ‘no’ is a good skill to practice. You don’t even have to justify your reasoning. Here’s an example: “I’m not comfortable traveling or visiting this year because of our typical family traditions. I’m already looking forward to next year.”

It’s the season to make new traditions. Enjoy this great break and the simple pleasures that are too often overlooked as simply magical.

Merry Christmas and/or happy holidays from your faith and customs.

I wish you a wonderful season.