It is very common to feel upset about your spouse’s behavior during a marital or trial separation. After all, you’ve probably been watching their behaviors very closely and analyzing them deeply. And this is probably because she is looking for clues as to what her husband might do next or how he might feel. But this isn’t always an easy process, and this is especially true if you find your spouse’s behavior unappealing in any way. A common example is the wife who feels that her separated husband is acting in a very immature and juvenile way.

You could hear that same wife say, “I know this is going to sound a little harsh, but my husband’s behavior during our separation is absolutely repulsive. He’s acting like a teenager with acne. Sometimes every time I call him, I can listening to silly movies or cartoons in the background. I came over the other day and he had a group of guys and they were eating pizza and drinking beer and playing video games. Now he spends his Friday nights going to sporting events and staying out late into the night. the night. It’s really annoying. I’ve been wanting my husband back through this whole separation. But lately, I’m starting to have my doubts. To be honest, I want a grown man back, not a teenager. Why is he acting like this? way?and will it ever stop?

Believe it or not, this is nothing weird. I have a couple of theories as to why some men act this way. And I will share them now.

He’s just letting off steam: People act differently when they are under a great deal of stress or going through a life crisis. Women often buckle down and get pretty serious. Men can act in the opposite way. Why? Because this is a painful time for everyone and it is a time filled with uncertainty. Therefore, it is likely that you are turning to things that provide you with simple pleasures. And sometimes, the simple pleasures for a man are things that we women can see as immature. He may not be entirely proud of his behavior, but he may also be giving you some relief.

He may be testing his freedom: Many men seek breakups because they want more space or because they want to feel more like an individual and less like a couple, at least for a while. And that’s why it might be appealing for him to fully embrace this space. He may like to do things that you would normally tease or put him down for. It’s like being a teenager when your parents are out of town. You are going to test the limits simply because you can and because you are no longer under someone else’s watchful eye. Is this behavior to be proud of? No, it’s not. But that is what happens sometimes. Fortunately, if this is the reason her husband acts this way, it usually doesn’t last long because the novelty eventually wears off.

Your behavior may be an extension of your midlife crisis: Some men want separations because they start to feel like they are living their father’s life. They look at what they have accomplished and feel disappointed in some way or wonder “is this all there is to it?” In response to this, they will sometimes seek to ditch some of their responsibilities and start living life by focusing on what makes them happy. And so you see them focusing on everything but being a responsible adult. Again, I know this is frustrating, but this type of behavior can subside as soon as the thought behind your mid-crunch fades, which it usually does.

So how do you handle this? I know it’s tempting to call his attention to how stupid you think his behavior is, but I rarely see that strategy work very well. I see that people have more success simply ignoring the problem and waiting for it to pass. Frankly, sometimes he acts this way hoping to get a reaction from you. If you don’t engage, the entire reason for the behavior fades away, which means it could stop.

I’ve always thought that dealing with your spouse during a separation can be hard enough without reacting to every little behavior that confuses you, hurts you, or makes you angry. Sometimes you just need to pick your battles. And for me, this is not one of the battles. You don’t want to put yourself in a position where you are acting like your husband’s mother. And frankly, he could be doing a lot worse things than hanging out with his friends and playing games. At least you’re communicating regularly, you know what he’s doing, and you know who he’s doing it with.