If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relations: the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together in the same world in peace.

~Franklin D. Roosevelt~

Sounds like a strange question? We usually try to think of ways to get along with others despite our differences, not because of them. Or you may decide to fire those who disagree with you to avoid having to deal with a conflict. Is it possible to use our differences as a way of relating?

What if everyone thought the same way? Wouldn’t this create a dull and boring world? We would soon become complacent and accept everything as it is, ignoring the possibility that changes are needed or even possible. But maybe the world is already perfect. This is not likely given the evidence before us on a daily basis. This is not the case now and it will not come by chance.

The only way to live in peace in the world we have now is to stop thinking and wondering if things could be better and do what we can to help create a better world. It would assume that everyone is equal and is treated as such.

Many of us share the same dreams. We would like to live in peace, have a decent space to live in, enough food, be able to support our children and prepare them to eventually make their own way in life. There is no argument there. I can’t imagine anyone consciously trying to prevent someone else from pursuing these goals.

However, we are not all the same. Some of us are born into families with parents who know how to work together raising us to live fulfilling and productive lives and have the resources to do so. Others have parents who have struggled to survive or may not have learned what it means to be a good parent. Some parents grew up in the shadow of violence or deprivation. It’s all they can do to survive.

Some of us learned from their parents that we are all responsible for one another. Others have learned that each one is on their own and that one must fight for what one wants. Still others see the world’s resources as limited and that you have to grab what you want before others get to you first.

These observations highlight the differences in how we view life. If you see life as a joint venture, it’s much easier to work together so that we all meet our needs. If you have been deprived of the necessities, not to mention the joys of life, you may find it difficult to think about the needs of others. It may seem like all you can do is take care of yourself.

How do we unite or help each other with our lives if we are all so different? I believe that we must begin by understanding what the circumstances of the past and current life have been for each one. It is easier to relate to others who have experiences similar to ours. Meeting others whose lives have been very different from ours will help us appreciate their struggles. Despite these differences, I think there is a rare person who has not had some moments of struggle and challenge that make life difficult for them. The key is to find ways in which our conflicts are similar to those of others and to learn about their different circumstances.

I think the biggest challenge is understanding others who are angry about their misfortune. It will be even more difficult if you are one of them, since you will have to deal with your own anger. Understanding these people can help you appreciate the blessings in your own life, or it can help you see how others deal with their difficulties. The way others manage might provide some lessons for your own struggles.

There are some specific ways that we can use our differences to come together. I will deal with this in my next article. Stay tuned.