Rebound love happens when a person has been in a long-term relationship and jumps headfirst into a new one. Excuse the terminology, but this is more or less how it happens.

We’ve probably all done it and wondered later what caused us to do such a thing when we were just beginning to grieve over our recent loss.

So why do we do it? Facing a new romantic interest even though our perfume was probably still on our ex’s pillowcase.

The reason is that we may not feel compelled to revisit the person in the last relationship depending on how it ended, but we crave the closeness and familiarity of the relationship itself.

I was explaining this to a friend who had recently gone through a breakup and was told quite indignantly that she wasn’t interested in her ex just finding someone new. Her words said it all: why would anyone want to hook up with someone so FAST after a 5 year relationship?

She took the leap of urgency and convinced herself that she was in love with the first boy she met. Knowing that everyone has their own journey, I stayed very quiet on the sidelines as she instantly injured herself and then proceeded to go out with another guy where the same thing happened again.

The thing is, she swore in black and blue that she was over her former partner, and while this was probably true, she still wasn’t ready to commit to a meaningful new relationship. After the second guy fell short, she began to realize that there was a lot to be said for this thing called BOUNCE LOVE.

What really happened was that my friend was missing the ingredients that make up a relationship cake.

She was convinced that her former partner was no longer the right man for her, which is fine, but she didn’t know that the relationship originally worked out because they both wanted to be together.

You see that you meet someone, you fall in love and you decide that you want to build a life together. After a period of dating, they decide to move in together and start shopping for their love nest and make it their home. They can get married and have children, buy a house and make new friends, all the things that bring them together and make them not just a couple but a family.

You are living the dream and you believe with all your heart that it will be like this for the rest of your life.

Suddenly, the dream of happily ever after is over as the light of the relationship is gone and nothing can be done to fix it.

You are a mixture of emotions. At first he is relieved that a resolution has been made, but his is soon overshadowed by feelings of loss, sadness, and GRIEF. You ended the relationship so you can’t understand why you would feel this way and you find the feelings so overwhelming that you just want to find a way to extinguish them.

Lying alone in your bed at night, you don’t miss your ex, but you wish there was someone by your side hugging you like he used to, making you feel safe and warm. This is what makes a meaningful RELATIONSHIP so hard to beat because it is the coming together of two people coming together to create something much bigger than themselves. When two become one again, the loss of that way of life can be devastating.

So rebound love is a way to find the comfort and security that you may have experienced in your last relationship.

Ricochet hazards are more damage and confusion as you may not be aware of the luggage you are carrying. Some surefire ways to tell if you’re in a relationship with someone on the rebound are as follows.

1. Does your new guy constantly talk about his ex? It doesn’t matter if they say good or bad things about them, just the fact that he hasn’t let them go.

2. Do you carry photos of your ex in your wallet? Ouch, that’s going to be a real turnoff for you, I think.

3. How long has it been since you broke up with your partner because if it’s not too long you better know he’s on the rebound and could get out of the new one with you just as fast as he got in?

I’m not discounting the fact that many beautiful rebound relationship love stories have emerged, but I urge you to be aware of what you’re getting into if you choose rebound love.