A man has been lying to his wife. For months, he has been secretly going out at night to exotic dance clubs, rubbing shoulders with strippers and hosting lap dances (which he chooses to believe are “innocent” and “harmless”). He has been enjoying his own little secret world that gives him a sense of sensual arousal and illicit general body pleasure. He tells himself that he “isn’t cheating”. Inevitably, however, after an indefinite time, his wife discovers what he has been up to. To her surprise, dismay, and disappointment, his spouse is not as receptive, nor is she accepting. She is enraged, furious, hurt, devastated, and maybe even feeling and behaving out of control. She may be at risk of losing everything: her marriage, her home, and his family.

At this point, the man often feels, “I have to find a way to change this. I’m attracted to my wife. I love her very much. She’s beautiful. She’s been good to me. She takes good care of our children. I don’t want a divorce. I want to find a wife.” way to make up for it. I thought I was being really ‘cool’ by going to these clubs. Now I realize how immature I was.”

So, the question arises: Why have you been going to see strippers? Why are you paying for lap dances when you have a beautiful wife at home, who you say you love?

The answer, if the man is honest, sometimes it is. “I’m attracted to my wife, but she expects me to “perform” for her or expects me to always initiate sex. She thinks I don’t want her because I haven’t been that interested in being intimate with her lately. afraid. She expects me to always be ready and to satisfy her. Lately, she gets upset if I don’t meet her expectations, especially since she knows I’ve gotten gratification from some of these other women.”

So what is it about strip clubs, strippers, and lap dances that keep some men craving for more while neglecting the available wife they claim to love?

A typical male response might be: “In dance clubs, I can relax, be myself, have a few drinks, listen to music, and watch some beautiful bodies slowly move, seducing me into a state of arousal. I might invite one of these beautiful ladies at my table. She might smile at me, perhaps touching my arm, or whispering something seductive in my ear. She might call me honey or baby, and offer to make me feel good if I want to dance with her.”

At home, when it comes to sexual desire, some men will say, “I often feel like a frightened child about to be scolded by his angry mother.” They could share that at the club they have sometimes heard other men say, “I have to go home and do my old lady,” as if it were a chore or a chore to get through, rather than the pleasurable experience that life can be. true intimacy. .

What do strippers and exotic dancers do that men crave but don’t get at home?

First, man is totally receiving. He has nothing to do but be there. The woman does all the flirting and seduction. She moves her body seductively. It is possible that she will gradually take off some of her clothing. She can arch her back and stick out her butt, “a position of acceptance” known to trigger sexual arousal in male mammals. Some strippers will not touch guys at all, but will come very close to touching men’s faces with their breasts, crotch, butt, etc. However, most strippers will touch and allow touching, even if they are not technically supposed to. It’s about what will make them the most money. Then there are the special “champagne rooms”. For a very high hourly rate, a man can spend some time in a very private room with the woman of his choice. Here, she can offer additional sexual favors that she claims she only provides to “special” clients.

Second, the exotic dancer’s goal is to stimulate the man, tease him, act like he’s a master at arousing her, and continually promise him ever-increasing pleasure. She makes no demands, she seems to have no expectations of him and gives him no arguments. But there’s also no real communication back and forth (except allowing her to express her unhappiness and frustrations with her life, her marriage, or whatever) and no love. Sometimes a man begins to feel “love” for an exotic dancer, but what he loves is only the image she presents and the way she pleases him. Most likely, he has no idea who she really is.

The truth about exotic dancers is this. The girl is there to: maintain a habit, support her family, earn some money for a specific goal, or as a quick fix for an uneducated, unskilled woman to earn a large sum of money. This is a recession-proof business, and it’s a business, a big business. Men have needs, and when times get tough, these needs are often exacerbated. Some men will look for a way to escape and feel good, even if it’s just for a few hours.

Behind their smiles, erotic movements and seductive words, many of these women actually feel disgust for men. They don’t like the way these men “get turned on” by complete strangers. They look down on men for “cheating” on their spouses and significant others.

And her only goal is to make as much money as possible by keeping every man turned on and coming back for more.

The man who frequents strip clubs satisfies his own narcissistic needs for attention, arousal, stimulation, and praise. In reality, he is depriving himself of the opportunity for true intimacy, closeness, communication, and unraveling his deepest childhood fears and insecurities. His wife suffers from the same lack of intimacy.

The solution is for each couple to take responsibility for the disappearance of their intimacy, take the bull by the horns, put their foot down, get sexual counseling that both of them can benefit from, and literally start their sexual relationship from the beginning. again. Literally starting from the beginning, they should shake hands and say: “Hello. My name is… I can offer you something wonderful, make you feel better than ever before, if you take the time to get to know me…”