When an ex-boyfriend of mine admitted to cheating on me, after a few years of dating, I literally died emotionally. I felt like I had never put so much of my heart, mind, soul, and strength into a relationship. After we finished, I immediately told myself that I was No go to the date She wasn’t thinking of a man. I didn’t care how cute he looked, how fine or how soft he was. And honestly, I didn’t even care “how saved” he was, because my ex was christian. I just couldn’t stand what happened to me and was determined to cut myself out of the dating world. I focused on me, me and me.
Well, God sure has a sense of humor. Because, a year and a half later, I had no idea that God was sending me the man I would later marry. And when we met, I didn’t have “10 step guide on how to catch and keep a husband.“Nope. Instead, I did what many despised women do. I put up a huge defense mechanism and made that brother suffer.
Oh yes I did.
There were times when he would sit next to me and put his arm around my shoulder to show affection and I would turn around and give him the evil eye that said, “You better back off!” And when we would go on a date and he would try to hold my hand, I would deliberately put a wide open space between us just so he couldn’t reach my hand.
HAS part of me she felt really bad for treating him so badly. He was such a gentle giant, a tall athlete at 6’5″. And little me was a hard cookie to deal with. But ladies, I was WRONG!
you see, i came outside from a terrible relationship and was going through a healing process. And truth be told, my now husband could have just as easily closed it and said “forget it.” He was literally dragging him through the dirt. Y under the train to win my affection. But I think this is not what God wants us to do. We have to be open to receive the blessings that He has for us.
You like to be hurt, right? And when God blesses you with whatever he has in store for you (whether it’s a financial, healing, spiritual, or tangible blessing), you want it and you want to be in the right position to receive it, right? Well, the same applies to your relationship with your future husband.
Now, I know it’s not easy to get out of a broken relationship. I’m sure if you asked an auditorium full of women if they’ve ever been cheated on, a good number of hands would go up. It’s sad. However, to receive what God has for you, you have to completely free yourself and let go of the past.
Let go of the pain of the past
I love this scripture in Hebrews 10:23 that says, “Let us hold fast to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” So a sure way to put a painful past relationship behind you is to realize that God is faithful. Just because he’s been through a serious injury before, doesn’t mean he’ll experience the same pain in the future. And, if the gentleman you’re dating is God sent and you know you KNOW he is, I encourage you to break down the brick walls. He releases the defense mechanisms and allows your boyfriend to see the beautiful you that currently hides behind the bread.
Know when to lower defenses
“But how do I know it’s safe? That he’s the one?”
You can ask. I think every woman knows it in her own unique way. It is confirmed differently for many. In my case, the Lord had to give me specific signs to show me that my heart was finally safe if I went ahead with him. You see, my husband was after me and I really had to use discernment to see if he was genuine or not. And as I mentioned before, I was so mean to Kellus that he could have easily left. But he did not. He loved me anyway and he continued to shower me with love and wait for me. And that was a great sign that God had given it to me. And I love him more every day.
My mom cheered me up with something while I was out with my husband. She said, “Don’t treat him like that, Kennisha. Let that man see who you really are. Let him see the love of God in your eyes.” They need to see tenderness instead of bitterness, resentment, and anger. It is never easy to get out of a difficult relationship. But when you know that God has graced you with a man who will love you in sickness and in sickness, don’t let bitterness or any past pain rob you of your future opportunity to love.
Let God heal you emotionally and give you the courage to open your heart to receive the love of a worthy man. You can rest knowing that the Lord will never lead you down the wrong path.